I've noticed this summer that Penny is not always so happy to have little children around, anymore. She used to be overjoyed about any child that came around. But, this summer she has had both her one year old cousin and a one year old child of my best friend from high school here. And my expectations of how excited she would be turned out to be wrong. While it was a little disappointing, at the same time I think it is a very good sign. Now I realize that she is at a new and different stage in her life. At first I think she'd latch on to other kids, because she was most used to being surrounded by other children. In fact, when she first came home she'd BEG for a sister. Now that she's gotten used to the exclusive love and care of her own parents she's starting to feel very safe and valued and loves spending time with us. This summer she's had to learn how to be on her own for at least five hours every day because this is the first summer that both Jay and I have been working. While it hasn't been easy, Penny is doing great and is really maturing. But, sometimes the behavior reverts back and everything I've read about this is that it is completely NORMAL!! It's a good sign that your child is trying to bond and attach to you as their parent. After all, your child is emotionally at the developmental stage of attaching at the age of when they entered your family. So, start with 0 for when they entered and then add up their emotional age from there. That means we're at the two year old stage, which is the same age that I've been working with at my preschool. Wasn't God smart for giving me a job that helps me better understand where my daughter is at with her feelings and developmental stage of life in our family? Sometimes when those feelings are combined with the ups and downs of teenage hormones it can be quite a ride! But, I'm very thankful to know that it is a healthy thing for her to be feeling jealousy when her mommy shows affection for another one year old who has "invaded" our living space. I suppose you could say that our princess does not want to give up her position as "Alpha Cat" in our household. And Daddy did make sure to have a talk with our "Alpha Cat" to remind her and teach her about how we are to treat cats, oops, no I mean "guests". So, we'll see how our summer trip goes when we'll be meeting a lot of people who are friends to me, but strangers to Penny. There will surely be many opportunities to remind her that she will always be our daughter and the one that we truly love.
The "cats"/guests that we most recently hosted were my friend, Christine along with her husband and baby who came from Germany. While she only attended my high school for one semester, we became best of friends and have kept in touch all of these years. She and her twin brother and I all talked about our interest in Japan back then and we all ended up going to Japan, but at different times. Since she has relatives in America she still comes back to visit. And I visited her once in Germany. She ended up marrying a guy who is half Japanese and half German. Their daughter, Sophia Hanako, was really adorable, even if she did take fistfuls of hair from our real cat and grab her tail now and then.
I had some new insight into where our daughter is at in her life with this recent visit. While Jay and I can understand and agree that the crying of a baby is a bit annoying, I hadn't thought about it from Penny's point of view. She said, "Mom, I can't stand the crying of the baby because I heard a LOT of that at Udon." So, it was bringing back bad memories for her of all the crying babies there. It probably made her think of when she was one of those crying babies, too, with no mommy to console her. So, I made sure to take a moment out of our busy day of work and hosting our guests to have my "baby" sit on my bed and combed her hair for a little mother-daughter bonding time. So thankful that I can be her mom, now!
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