Pardon Me?

Ever since telling people that we are planning on adopting we've had a flood of people pouring out their support. It's great to have so many asking about it and saying that they'll pray for us. However, there are also a few people who have asked us a question that I find myself wondering why they are asking us. I'm hoping that it's out of true compassion in their hearts for children who are in need of a home. But, sometimes I wonder if these people have really thought through the words that they say and how they come across. The question goes something like this. "Oh, you're planning to adopt from overseas, huh?! Well, have you ever considered adopting from the U.S?" (That's the polite version.) It gets rather tiring explaining all of the reasons why we are choosing to try to get a girl from China. Yes, we know that there are plenty of children in several other countries and the U.S. who also need a home, including plenty of boys. It's rather odd to me that we have to support and justify our decision. Do people ever ask someone who is having a baby the natural way, "Well, that's nice that you are going to have a baby, but why don't you adopt? You know, there are a lot of babies here in the U.S. who need a home." I doubt that many expectant parents hear that question. When I tried to explain to one woman that we don't like the fact that the law in the state of Colorado is such that the birth mother could change her mind within the first six months this woman actually had the tenacity to say, "Well, you just have to throw your emotions away." Her comments didn't seem to communicate compassion to me. Rather, they came across communicating, "Well, that's nice that you want to adopt a girl from China, but if you were a truly compassionate person, you'd forget your feelings and adopt a child from the U.S." Needless to say, this woman, herself, is not planning on adopting a child from the U.S. In fact, she's about 70 years old and already has her own children and grandchildren. It's easy for her to say that. I wonder if she's ever stopped to think about how insensitive her comments sounded. It reminds me that I, too, need to learn how to guard my tongue and think about my words before I say them. Why can't we simply rejoice with our friends when they make a big life decision, like to adopt a child? Why do we have to analzye and judge others intentions and motives? Is it because we all have some insecurities about ourselves and we feel better if we make ourselves out to sound more caring? If someone wants to ask me that question I would hope that they are, themselves, trying to be a part of the solution to the problem rather than blaming me for not doing more to fix it. The issue of children at home and abroad being without a family is a huge and overwhelming one. I may not be able to save all the children. But, we are hoping and praying to make the difference in the life of at least one kid. I hope others can celebrate with us in this endeavor!