Three Years Ago Today...

Today is a very special day in our memory! It was the first day that we ever got to meet our daughter in person. From my memory we were all very nervous. In fact, Jay got so excited when he first saw her jumping up and down that he forgot the video camera on the floor of the van. So, you just hear him burst into tears and see something like his jeans and the seat of the van. But, we have some other photos and a few mpg movies of that day. I'll try posting them here. After doing some paperwork and taking a walking tour of the grounds of her orphanage, we went to a Fair in downtown Udon Thani, where it was very hot with lots of interesting smells wafting through the air. Jay was so surprised that Penny bought a bag of roasted bugs there to eat. She says she's not sure she could eat them, anymore. I guess she's become a little more Americanized by now. Also, on that first day we got to see her play her "khim" (Thai hammered dulcimer). But, she says she was so nervous that she made a number of mistakes. We didn't care. We were just in awe of our new daughter, whom we had waited for almost two years exactly, to the day. It was like a strange fairytale dream come true.

Today Jay is singing at a church in Loveland. And Penny has been invited to go to a Chinese friend's church. In the evening we are planning to go out to eat at the Thai Pepper to celebrate the special day. I'm so glad that I'm getting over the flu bug I had on Friday. But, I think I'll still go for something mild, like Pad Thai for now.

Homeschooling

Well, a lot has happened since my last post. We celebrated Jay's father's 80th birthday party and Thanksgiving. Penny went to a Christmas tea with Grandma. We all went to Cheyenne, WYO. for Jay's company's Christmas party where Jay actually won a laptop computer as a free give-away prize. And since then Penny has again brought up the idea of homeschooling. Way back in either August or September she'd been talking about wanting to try homeschooling. But, then she changed her mind, until recently. I think she's feeling that this big high school thing is way too much pressure on her. Ever since she started she has not been sleeping well. And lately she's been complaining about backaches. It could be because she has to carry a laptop (on loan to her from the school) as well as her heavy backpack all over the school, in which the main hallway is at least 3/4 of a mile long. She never uses her locker, because she only has five minutes to run through the crowded hallways to make it on time to her classes. There have been more and more reasons that I'm tending to agree with her that it'd be just fine to try homeschooling. Let me list a few: a bomb threat, lazy kids who won't do their part in projects where she's required to work with a partner, bullies, and the school giving her a survey about dating that made her feel very uncomfortable. I asked why the school wanted her to do that. She said it was so that they could get money. That's not really how I want her to be educated. So, I'm willing to give this homeschooling thing a try, at least for one semester to see if I can balance it with my 33 hour work week. But, I've devised a schedule that I think will work. In fact, it might even work better. After all, Penny is agreeing to do her part in helping Mom out with the housework, while I'm gone at work. She's quite a responsible young lady. And it could even count towards Life Skills/Home Ec credits. I think the pro of this would be that I can try to help her catch up in all of the areas where she's lagging behind. It was unfair, in my opinion, for the school to expect her to jump into Algebra I when she had been only at about 5th grade level math in Middle School. The poor girl hadn't even been taught how to tell time just less than three years ago when she was thirteen. So, I think going at a slower pace with books at her reading level, she'll be able to catch on to the concepts and fill in the gaps better before being thrust into mainstream high school level classes. Forcing kids to jump in and swim when they're not ready, like that, sounds like a set up for failure, as they may drown. Even though Penny's grades have been good (except for Math) she seems to be feeling like she's drowning, emotionally. This kind of stress level is starting to make her hate school. I want her to enjoy learning. So, I'm very thankful for the many friends, neighbors, relatives and even blogger friends who have already paved the way and started giving me great advice as we're just getting ready to take the plunge to try a different route. We'll see how it works for our family. The cool thing is that it doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing deal in our school district. For example, she could still continue taking orchestra or an art class, etc. So, we'll hope to find just the right balance for Penny. She's also getting excited about the new youth group musical that the church kids will start practicing for after the New Year. So, it looks to be an exciting new start for us for the new year!

Diversity and a Bomb Threat

Thanks to a blogger friend, Wendy, I was inspired to add my own two cents worth on the topic of diversity. I don't claim to be an expert. But, I think I have had enough experience with different cultures to be able to speak on the subject. I have always been one fascinated to learn about other races and cultures. Probably, because I grew up in South Dakota, where diversity at the time when I was growing up meant basically two races: white and native American. And I think God put this little spark in me to always want to reach out to anyone who looked different than me. In elementary school my best friend was the only African American girl in the whole school. She was adopted by a white family. I remember our girlhood conversations about race. We talked about our heritage. She was African and German American. I was all German-American. I was also a close friend with a Native American girl, also adopted by white parents. This girl was heavier set and lots of kids teased her about that, but I always felt proud to sit by her in the bus. When I was in high school my best friends were from Laos and Germany. When I went away to college my best friends where Japanese, Koreans and Chinese. I spent a lot of time at the home of my Lao friend in high school. We would sit on the floor eating Lao food with our hands, watching Lao music videos. I became part of their family. And I remember one Saturday morning, after another sleepover, I went into the bathroom and almost scared myself when I looked at my face in the mirror when I noticed how white I looked. I ended up going as a missionary to Japan, where I lived for six and a half years. I saw plenty of Americans, (unfortunately, even some missionaries), who acted like their way of life was better. They were always comparing and contrasting and not wanting to really integrate into the daily way of life in Japan. I guess that I'm just different. I want to experience another way of life, another way of looking at things. But, the one thing I do believe in, is that there is One LIVING GOD. That's why I went out as a missionary. I did not want to change the people. I wanted the people to know that there is a living God who is EVERYWHERE! Even, if they don't know Him, yet, He knows them and loves them as His own. He has paid the fee for them to be His adopted kids. He just wants them to say, "Yes!" to enter into His family. I'm so thankful that I had the experience of living by myself in another culture and having to learn another language in order for people to understand me. It helps me understand a little of what my daughter had to go through in coming to this country. In our family, we don't try to teach her that everything "Americana" is the way to go. In fact, just last night at the dinner table, we were sitting there playing Yahtzee and I was so proud of our daughter playing her music out loud on her ipod Touch. The music she was choosing to share with her parents was mostly Chinese folk music, along with Thai and Korean pop music. And, lately, she has a favorite song by the cutest girl from Japan. And the cool thing is that she doesn't hang out with only the Asian kids at school. She also comes home mentioning names of friends like "Theresa and Cesar". One of the things that prompted me to post on this subject was Wendy's post. But, also, I witnessed a white, Christian, adoptive mom saying the stupidest thing last Sunday at a church where I had gone to volunteer at for their Orphan Care weekend. Her adopted daughter was adopted as a baby from China and is now a teen. This woman was talking to another teenage girl, also adopted as a baby from China. I had asked the teen girl how old she was when she entered her family. After she said, "Four months," this other woman piped up and said, "Oh, that's like our daughter, Jasmine. Then you must not even feel different." This was followed by a very awkward silence by myself and the teenage girl as we were probably both wondering what to say in response to such a dumb statement. So, finally, the woman spoke again to try to fill the awkward silence. She said, "Well, we always try to tell Jasmine that she's not different, she's special." That, too, in my opinion, is not a good thing to tell a child. EVERY child is Special! And it does nothing to acknowledge and celebrate what is different about her. She has a story to tell and part of it is her racial background. Even if she was adopted at a young age, it doesn't matter. Part of her will always be Chinese, because that's the part that everyone sees. And this poor girl has lost not only her connection with her birth parents. But, because she left when she was so young, she doesn't know firsthand, about her birth culture and has lost the opportunity to speak her native language. I wonder if the mother has tried to help her learn about those things, of course, if her daughter is open to learning about them. In many ways, I'm thankful that my daughter still knows Thai and can remember her homeland. She knows about the good and the bad. There is no ideal special place in the world. They all have their special, unique characteristics. And every place is also tainted by sin in this world. So, I always tell Penny to remember that no place is perfect. There will be good and bad everywhere! It's our job to find the good and focus on that and do our part to try and bring change to what is bad and wrong. Speaking of the bad...yesterday, on Veteran's Day, some kid thought they'd be "smart" and help the kids get out of school by planting a bomb threat note in a computer disk drive in the library at Penny's school. Thankfully, Jay had the day off from school and Penny was able to borrow her friend's cell phone to call him. He picked her up as the bomb squad was searching the building. I was out enjoying my 10 minute walk during my lunch break just two blocks away. I wondered why I saw several teenagers walking down the street. I thought that a lot of them were walking home for their lunch break. Just as I was walking through the parking lot back to my school a horn honked and I turned around to see Jay and Penny driving up. I thought, "What in the world is she doing out of school and why are they here?" My first thought was that she had become ill. So, I was quite surprised to hear that they had been released due to a bomb threat. It just seems like such a different world that we're living in. I never had to deal with things like that. My world was such a sheltered place, going to a small high school of just 60 kids. But, thankfully, even in such a small school, I had the opportunity to meet kids from Taiwan, Japan, Germany, Laos, Africa and Guatemala. And my life was enriched for the better!

So Thankful!

Well, it's almost November, a time to think a little more deeply about what we have to be thankful for. I can think of so many things that I hope I won't ramble too much in this entry. But, this is entitle "Regan Ramblings", right? And I'm just exercising my 1st amendment right to speak up. So, I'll start by saying I'm SO thankful for my family. Jay and I just celebrated 10 years since we first "met" on e-harmony, October 23rd. We decided to take a much-needed weekend getaway and went hiking at a couple of state parks. I'm so thankful that we have both sets of parents and that Jay's parents live close by. They are always so helpful and supportive and Penny loves staying with them when we need to get away. It's gradually getting easier for her to handle us leaving. But, it's still a little scary for someone who is used to people leaving her permanently. So proud of how she's developing trust and becoming such a brave young woman!

As far as her school situation is going...that is also gradually getting better. According to the letter grades, she is still failing Algebra, which was devastating to her and worrying us as her parents when she was losing sleep and becoming so emotional over it. But, we finally demanded a meeting at her school and was given one. The teachers and staff involved all seemed to understand more of why Math was so hard for Penny and said they'll do more to support her. Now they've even found her a math tutor who helps just her once a week. The funding came available through a special new department in the school district, titled something like "Immigrant Services". They provide help for immigrant children who've been in this country for less than 3 years. Penny's 3 year mark will be in January. It just so happens that the woman in charge of this department happens to be in my neighbor lady's bible study and was talking about her new job and how she was having a hard time locating students who needed help. So, my neighbor lady piped up and said, "Well, I know of one kid!" and proceeded to tell her about Penny. So, thanks to that conversation, the woman contacted the school and offered her services. Before this, Penny's counselor was unaware of this service of the district. Now she's not only helped out by providing a free tutor, but she's also supplied funds to order Penny a special calculator (costing over $100) and paying for a fee that is required in order to cover insurance on a laptop computer that all students are to receive. This comes in VERY handy, as we've been struggling financially ever since Jay lost his teaching job.

Speaking of money...I felt so bad that a mistake I made cost our family more money. I've never done it before, but I completely spaced a doctor's appointment that I had set up. When I called them after I realized my mistake I discovered, much to my shock, that they had doubled their late fee. It made me break down, much to my embarrassment, over the phone. But, my wonderful husband, with his great, calm, skills of negotiating called them about a week later and asked if we could have mercy and at least cut the fee down. They not only agreed to do that, they actually waived the fee, altogether. I am so relieved. And, once again, I am so thankful that the Lord opened up the opportunity of my new preschool job. I'm so thankful for the great hours and being just a couple blocks away from Penny's school. Just continuing to pray for God's provision during these hard times.

One thing I'm very thankful for, is a roof over our heads. The other night Penny woke up around 2:30 am and thought her bed was shaking. She said it felt like a small earthquake. I slept through the whole thing. But, in the morning we discovered big branches on our roof due to the heavy, wet snow overnight. It has caused so much tree damage throughout the city that they've decided to pick up all of the limbs across the city from the curbside for free. It's going to cost the city 1.5 million dollars.




Another reason I'm feeling thankful for our home, is in hearing about the many people in Thailand fleeing from their homes, due to the flooding there. It's not affecting the area of Thailand where Penny comes from. But, it is slowing down the whole adoption process for many waiting families. It may have disrupted life for some the children whom they are waiting for, as several of those kids live with foster families whose homes are in the area affected by the flooding. So, please pray for everyone involved.

As we look forward to Thanksgiving, let's all pause and remember the many reasons that we have to be thankful for. God is good, all the time!

His Light is Shining

No big huge exciting news to tell. We're just busy living our daily lives. But even in the mundane stuff of life, I can always see God's light shining bright! The good news is that I (Chandra) am LOVING my new job. Even though one year olds are not necessarily my first age group that I most like working with, I must say that this job is awesome! I love my new school, my boss, my co-worker and the curriculum. God totally answered prayers and I even got the perfect hours, too! Jay asked if I could ask my boss for more hours. I said, "Well, I'm not sure if I can ask for that, because I just started working there and I want the earlier hours, but the other teacher in my classroom has been there longer and is working the earlier hours." Then I went on to say, "I really don't see any way possible that it would happen unless that other teacher were to quit." That was on a Tuesday night that we had that conversation. On Wednesday night I asked a ladies' prayer group that I had joined to please pray about my job situation. On Thursday at work this other teacher said to me, "Did you know that I turned in my two-week's notice to quit on Tuesday?" I was quite flabbergasted at how God had answered my prayer before I had even prayed it. It's not that I'm happy about someone quitting, but it just all seemed so right. In fact, this other teacher was extremely unhappy in her job. So, she felt it was for the best. And it turns out that the other new, young teacher who they hired to take her place, is awesome! I've been praying, too, that I could work with someone who would feel like a real team member. It's amazing how well I work with Kati. We both have similar ideas and styles. And, yet, we have just have enough differences, too, that we complement each other. I had to laugh the other day because just when I almost opened my mouth to tell Kati something I thought we should do, she walked over and started doing that very thing. It's like we read each other's minds. And the kids are already responding to our good comradery.

On the home front, we are trying to decide how to best help Penny adjust to so many huge changes involved with become a high school student. There are definitely harder classes and new social dynamics to face in such a big school (larger than the population of the town where I went to H.S.). It's a big culture shock for her mom, as well. I'm not used to facing security guards questioning me as to why I want to park in the visitor's parking lot and feeling like I have to prove that I really do need to meet with Penny's counselor and not wanting to get a ticket for not having a permit to park in the other huge lots. One of the things we did to try and help us understand her better and to know how to best parent her during this important stage in life, was to attend a class. It was hosted by the Adoption Exchange. It's an organization helping post-adoptive families here in Colorado. We learned a lot about trauma and brain development. We know that this time in Penny's life is a tough one to try and figure out her identity. She's going through a stage of both bonding closer with me and yet feeling completely embarrassed for having her friends see me, especially since we don't look alike. So, I just keep trying to love on my "Jekyll and Hyde" personality of my daughter.

The big thing I took away from in the class was that spending time with your child is the best way to heal their trauma and make them feel safe and well-adjusted. We've definitely been plenty of that. So, thankful that my hours are now ideal for spending that time with her. We're also even considering attending another church, if it would help Penny to find some new friends, especially those who lead her closer to the Lord. So, will you please pray with us during this time of transition?

I've been spending tons of time doing LOTS of personal tutoring for trying to help Penny with her homework. It's a lot of bonding time over trying to explain things like consecutive integers, double conversions in algebra and the functions of organelles in cells. But, I convinced her yesterday after school that we both needed to take a break. So, we went out to Dairy Queen for peanut buster bars and then went to see the CSU flower gardens before it possibly freezes over this weekend. They are right across from the original old Fort Collins H.S. building, so we went in a took a look at the building now that it's been bought and renovated into an arts building for CSU. We went to a free museum exhibit inside that was rather "unique" and then we did a little window shopping at a beautiful consignment shop in an old house. After a dinner of terriyaki chicken we rounded off the night by playing Uno on Mom and Dad's bed. It was really a nice, relaxing afternoon free of stress.





Last weekend we got to meet another family who I had only known through their blogs and FB before. It was so fun meeting them in person. They are another family from Colorado who has an adopted daughter, from Vietnam. And now they feel God has called them to take a world tour with their daughters for one year. The husband can work from abroad. So, they'll be spending time in Europe and Asia and I can't wait to follow their journey, especially when they stay in Thailand for a few months. We were so blessed to meet them just before they left on their new adventure. We met at a Fall Festival held at our church, which was a fund raiser for Lutheran Family Services, who helps place foster children in adoptive homes.




Well, I need to wrap this up so that I can ready to go off to my little group of believers and a few seekers of truth at a small Japanese congregation here in Fort Collins. I help out with the worship team there. We just meet once per month. But, I pray that God will use us to glorify Him and shine His light and love on others so that they might know Him better. Jesus, please shine through me, today!

New Beginnings...Again

It feels like our family has gone through such a whirlwind of new beginnings ever since we brought our daughter home in January 2009. Let's see...let me reflect on all of the changes in the past two and a half years...Jay lost his teaching job he had been at for seven years, Penny entered elementary school in America for the first time, I left my job of four years after my hours cut in less than half, Jay taught in music in Greeley, Penny started middle school for the first time, Jay left the job in Greeley and ended up working part-time as a music accompanist at a middle school in Loveland, I started working with toddlers for the first time at Spring Creek School, Jay found another part-time job as a teller at a credit union in Wellington, Penny started high school for the first time, Jay started working full-time at the Credit Union this past Spring, my hours got cut down to about half again at my preschool and now I just got hired back at 30 hours at a new preschool very close to our house and a block away from Penny's H.S. You can imagine why we have been feeling like life has been rather out of control. We never dreamed that our income would be cut to less than half of what it had been and now that we have mortgage payments and a child to care for. But, somehow we are still surviving. It is only by the grace of God who is holding us up when we wonder how to handle all of life's cares. I know that many of our dear friends and family members, even new friends that we've met thanks to the internet, who are encouraging us and lifting us up in prayer. What would we do without such a loving bunch of people surrounding us?! We're so thankful to God for you all! During this time of reflection on September 11th I think of all the many changes that have come to this country and to our lives. On that day, ten years ago, I was a single missionary who had just moved back to the States and resettled in a new place, Loveland, Colorado. I had just moved into my apartment ten days before that infamous day and had no television to show the horrific images of terrorist attacks on our nation. But, the thing that stands out in my mind at that time was what a wonderful gift it is to live in this country where so many people believe in hope, healing, forgiveness and prayer! What a different atmosphere it was than when the tragedy of the Kobe earthquake happened while I was living in Japan. There the main reaction was one of stoic fatalism resulting in MANY people taking their own lives out of a sense of hopelessness and despair. And now the same thing is occurring again there after the terrible tragedy of the recent earthquake and tsunami. But, I am so touched at how so many people who do believe in the living HOPE through Jesus are reaching out to others in need. His love is real! I can feel it in our own lives. He will never leave us nor forsake us. This becomes all the more evident when things of this world seem to be snatched away. So thankful that we have a solid ground to stand on who won't be shaken through all of the upheavals of life!

New Music Lessons Opportunities

Jay R. - Tutor in Fort Collins, CO 80525 Eternity-minded Music Studio

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About Me

Would you like to learn how to play the piano or receive coaching in proper singing technique? Do you have a desire to take up the trombone and have fun sliding away? Do you need help with studying music theory or history, or perhaps want to enrich your life by learning the principles of the gift of music. I’m a licensed music educator with over ten years of experience teaching K-12 Music in Colorado. In addition, I’ve played the piano for 35 years and I’ve extensive experience as a professional vocal soloist for over 25 years. I'm passionate about helping you pursue your musical goals and dreams. I hold two music degrees, including a Bachelor of Music Education from Colorado State University and a Master of Music in Vocal Performance from the University of Arizona. I've helped many people to experience the joy of learning and performing music, and I would love to meet you and share the musical experience. I’m currently accepting students from school-age to adult and I can work with you to find a schedule that meets your needs. I look forward to hearing from you soon!

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Wonderful Trips

We just took a couple of family vacations. One was for nine days to the Midwest. The other one was a three-day weekend camping trip. It's so hard to sum up in a few words the experience of making such special memories with our little family. We've only been a family of three for two and a half years. So, there are so many firsts that we are still experiencing. Let me try to reflect on the highlights and post some photos to try and capture the special times. The states that we drove through, visiting friends and relatives(in some of those states), were Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Dakota, Wyoming and Colorado.

Highlights:
1. Meeting other families who have also adopted their children from Thailand.
2. Meeting the Hanaoka family who "adopted" me as a college student. Penny immediately felt a close connection with them, as well.
3. Worshipping with my brothers and sisters in Christ at Church of Christ Presbyterian in Chicago.
4. Going to downtown Chicago to see the Aquarium.
5. Finding an awesomely delicious restaurant serving great Vietnamese and Thai food very close to my Alma Mater, Moody Bible Institute in downtown Chicago.
6. Seeing my aunt and uncle in Council Bluffs, my former co-worker from Japan and his family and my aunt and cousin in Minnesota.
7. Penny getting to play with her cousins and spending time at Grandpa and Grandma's in SIoux Falls.
8. Seeing my own cousins and aunts and uncles in the western part of South Dakota.
9. Returning to the beauty of Colorado and driving up to the mountains to tent out.
10. Experiencing our first campout at Steamboat Lake State Park.
11. Penny catching a crayfish.

Here are a few photos of the highlights: