God's Perfect "Thai-ming"

Hi everyone! Well, I thought I (Jay) better get back to doing some blog entries since Chandra is the main writer for this blog. With the title of this blog you can tell that I'm a teacher of youngsters that is always trying to come up with some goofy catch-phrase or pun!! Needless to say, we are very excited at the prospects of adoption from Thailand. I'm two weeks away exactly from my 42nd birthday and the thought of being a father is very exciting and humbling at the same time. We had been pursuing adoption information and attending various meetings of different agencies since last April. Since that time we were focused mainly on the direction of pursuing an infant from China. Also, we had the idea float through our heads of a child from Colombia. Then, a few weeks ago we stumbled upon this agency in Seattle, WACAP. We requested a packet, "child catalog" for lack of a better phrase, that listed pictures and very brief descriptions of waiting children or children with special needs. Both of us worked our way through the packet at different times and circled children that we would be interested in pursuing. It turns out that we had many similar choices, including this 11-year-old girl from Thailand. Since we had strictly been thinking about infants or toddlers it was interesting to see that God was placing an interest in both our hearts for this older girl. It appears that this girl is healthy, but has been waiting for many years to be adopted. We called WACAP and requested further information on this girl and another girl from India. After reading the detailed literature on the girl from India we realized that she had specific needs that we didn't feel that we were specifically called to address. However, when we looked through the much more detailed information on "Penny" we started seeing the fingerprints of God in many ways. It turns out that this girl has similar interests as both of us. In addition, she is from the very community in the entirety of the large country of Thailand that Chandra had visited for a week in 1999. Another interesting "fingerprint" is the strong impression that God laid upon Chandra's heart and mind since November of 2006 regarding praying for the girls in Thailand and India that are being sold into slavery and prostitution. She specifically asked the Lord, "How can I help in this matter?" One thing I love so very much about my wife is her receptivity to God's leading. She certainly "listens" to God, something I wish that I was better at, as well. As for another thing, we discovered that this month's Christianity Today has a cover article specifically addressing the plight of Thai girls that are susceptible to prostitution. Lastly, and the "fingerprint" that made a huge impression on me, is that we just discovered that effective in 2007 China is changing their adoption rules; they now have a weight limit just like Korea, and something that would disqualify us at this time, they require a "family net worth" of $80,000, which means we would have to own a home. That is why I called this entry "God's perfect Thai-ming."

Now comes the process of filling out numerous forms and waiting. We've heard that the Thai government can take a VERY long time to make decisions. Please pray with us that they will go against their nature and be a governmental "Speedy-Gonzales." Another prayer request is wisdom in education for "Penny" if she is the one for us. It would be very convenient and good if she could go to Liberty Common School with me. However, depending on her level of English fluency, that could be a difficulty. She has been studying English for about a year now. She says her favorite subject is Math, which was always a strong point for me. Excitingly, she has interests in music and art, which is another "fingerprint" for both of us. Lastly in this entry, one of the things that these agencies try to tell you is to not get too emotionally attached early on just in case it doesn't work out. They obviously don't know Chandra and me. When I first saw the CD-ROM copy of a Windows Media Player file video of "Penny," I started to get choked up and cry, thinking about that she might be my future daughter. I'm amazed that God has called me to this pursuit at this time in my life. When I think about the things that I was spending my time pursuing 20-plus years ago in college, I'm truly honored and humbled that God has entrusted to me a ministry to so many children. Through this realization, I'm starting to see the wonderful joy that God is bringing our way in adoption and that there was a definite reason since the beginning of time that we weren't able to have our own children naturally. As this process continues to move forward, we look forward to continuing this blog and hopefully figuring out how to place pictures in the text body of the blog. Take care and Happy New Year!

Jay :)

Let the Paperwork Pregnancy Proceed!

Aaaah! Alas, the tales of mountains and mountains of paperwork involved with adoption are true. We heard stories from other adoptive parents buried in the midst of the paperwork. And now we have made the leap of faith to try and tackle that mountain, ourselves. Yesterday, (Thursday), we had our first meeting with Adoption Alliance. It took about two hours for Marcia and Jay's cousin, Becky, to go over all of the essential pieces required to get our home study completed. Fortunately, the snowflakes decided to start falling right at the end of our meeting. And thanks to our weather, plus the low numbers of students around the holiday season at our preschool, I didn't need to go to work today. So, I began with the first of the gazillions of required documents we need to fill out. I think that if all parents had to go through the rigorous grilling that prospective adoptive parents do, the world wouldn't have such an overpopulation problem. On Tuesday we'll both have physicals as well as our fingerprints done. That's just the first set of fingerprints done at the local Sheriff's office, (the "cheap" set). Later down the road, we'll have a much more expensive set done down in Denver for Immigration. We sure appreciate everyone's enthusiasm for our endeavor. We were excited to get a phone call from our placement agency in Seattle that they have processed our application and officially stated that we've registered interest in the girl from Thailand. It's not safe for me to tell you her name, yet, over the internet. But, let's just give her the nickname "Penny". We were thrilled to watch the DVD of "Penny" again together with our friends at Adoption Alliance. They kept saying, "What a beautiful girl!" We think so, too. And we are very hopeful that perhaps this may be the daughter God has in mind for us. We pray for His best plan to be accomplished.

Remembering the Orphans

I suppose I'm feeling a little melancholic today as I reflect on the many lives that were lost two years ago from the Tsunami. Several thousand died in Thailand, alone. (However, that is no where near Udon Thani.) I read a story of one village where most of the children were left as orphans. They are the children of a tribe of people called the Moken. These particular Moken had left their island lifestyle and moved to the mainland. The Moken are known as sea gypsies. They traditionally survive off the ocean. Their head spiritual leader had a series of three dreams just three days before the tsunami in which he was being warned of an impending tidal wave. All but one of his tribe survived that day when he warned them to flee to higher ground. He said that he had also been told that there will a bigger wave that will sweep over the whole earth. Jay and I have been watching a video on the book of Matthew from the New Testament. One of the things that struck me is how many times God spoke to people through dreams. Perhaps God is speaking to all people asking them if they are ready for the end of the world. Meanwhile, how are we living? Are we loving the Lord our God with all of our hearts, souls and minds? Are we loving our neighbors as ourselves? What can you and I do to show that we are thankful to God for His many great gifts? Are we grateful for each day of life He has given us? This is the way I desire to live each day and to pass on to any orphan children that God allows us to adopt into our family. After all, that is the miracle of Christmas. Jesus came to pay the price so that we may be adopted into God's family.

More strange "coincidences"

I think that God must really have a very great sense of humor. Here we were all worried about finances. Now we find a Promise child, for whom the agency fees are waived. And our rep at WACAP just told me to go ahead and apply for an interest free loan through their organization (for the other expenses) because they have money available.

And then I get an unexpected e-mail from Jay's distant cousin (whom we met at Thanksgiving time) telling us that she will be helping with our initial interview at the Denver adoption agency that will be doing our home study. We knew that Becky worked for an adoption agency. But, we had no idea that the agency was Adoption Alliance. They will be doing all of our Colorado required "stuff". So, it's exciting to know that one of Jay's relatives will now be with us on this exciting adoption journey. She has two siblings who were adopted as older kids from Korea.

The contact person at WACAP told me that they are very excited to hear that we want to pursue this older girl. This sweet girl has been waiting her whole life for parents, as she was abandoned at birth. Her father never came forward and the mother left her at the hospital. I'm not allowed to show you her picture, due to confidentiality. But, I can say that she has a beautiful, infectious smile.

Mere coincidence?

Have you ever been to Udon Thani? Where in the world is Udon Thani? It's a town in the far northern part of Thailand. I (Chandra) spent a little less than a week there in October 1999. Tonight we received a packet of info from WACAP (adoption agency) about the two girls we were interested in. You can imagine my utter amazement when I looked at the address of the orphanage where the girl from Thailand lives. It said "Udon Thani". Of all the many, many towns and villages in all of Thailand, what are the odds that this girl would come from the very place where I stayed? When I was strolling the streets of Udon Thani I could have walked right by the home for girls where she lived. She would have been four years old at the time. I just can't get over this strange and silly feeling of giddiness that has overcome me. So far, no other family is pursuing this girl. She is a Promise Child. That means all the adoption agency fees would be waived. It would cost half the amount of other international adoptions. And we would probably qualify for an interest free loan through WACAP. The other cool thing about all of this is that Udon Thani is so close to Laos that their culture and language is almost the same. And did you know that my best friend from high school was from Laos? Another amazing things is that her interests include music (singing), dance and art. Sounds like she just might be a good match, eh?! I know that the packet of info says not to get too emotionally involved. But, man this seems like a God thing. Now we need to figure out how to get our home study done. Pray for us, please!

Change is Adrift

Well, since the last time we blogged things have changed. That is, we found another adoption agency. And the exciting news is that we actually sent in our first application through this agency on Dec. 12th. The agency is called WACAP, which standing for World Association for Children and Parents. The reason we are going through them is that they are a very reputable agency that has been around since 1976. Because they are so well-known, they receive lots of donations. So, they have funding available to help with the adoption process. And they have a program by which you could possibly qualify for interest free loans. If you go for a waiting child, in particular, a promise child, you may even have all of the agency fees waived. You'd still have the government fees and travel expenses. But 10,000 dollars sounds better than 20,000 dollars. They do have waiting children from China. But many of the promise children appear to be from India and Thailand. What's interesting about that is that I've really had those two countries on my mind for the past few weeks. There was a week in November when I heard from three different sources about how serious the problem of child slavery has become. It's especially bad with the sex industry in the countries of Thailand and India. I was praying and saying, "God, do you want me to do something about this?" And, low and behold, I heard about WACAP, which does adoptions from both of those countries. Because we are looking at Promise children the application fee is waived. In the next few days we should be getting some info on some of the promise children. We are particularly interested in the healthy older children. We think it would make things relatively smooth, since Jay could take them along to his school. Of course, they would have to learn English. But, kids are amazingly fast learners. So, we'll see where this journey takes us!

Tis the Season for Concerts Galore!

Whee! Here we go again with another holiday season of concerts, the first of which is next Tuesday the 14th. By the end of December I will have been involved in conducting 5 concerts/programs. About this time every year I ask myself, "What in the world am I doing?!" With our recent move, I'm asking that question more often as I've struggled with another cold or URI illness, coupled with being tired constantly. However, I keep getting hugs and smiles at school and I can sense that God has a purpose for me at Liberty Common School. When the Lord says it's time to move on, I'm sure that he will make it abundantly clear. As the days move closer to Christmas, I find myself longing more to be a father. It's very hard to keep struggling with climbing the sand dunes of paying off bills; two steps up, one step back. Just when it seems like we can actually visualize a date to make our adoption application, some other financial setback happens and then there are more delays. I'll be 42 in two months and I wish that my body was a bit more spry; there are too many creaks and groans! :) Well, it's back to grading papers and planning for another week of classes as I sit here late on this Friday afternoon. Till next time, Jay :)

Long Time No Blog

Wow! You must've wondered if we had logged out of our blog. Well, truth be told, we hadn't blogged for so long that we couldn't remember what our username was. But, alas, we have finally reconnected with the outside world. I think we have many wonderful excuses. One of which is that the busy school season started back up for Jay in August. And then we discovered in September that we would need to move. By October 21st we were all moved into our new duplex. Not to mention that I was gone to South Dakota for over a week at the end of Sept. to the beginning of October.

Speaking of that trip, I went to a friend's wedding reception while I was there. And it just so happened that my friend's sister was there with her two adopted daughters from China. She told me about the adoption agency that they went through. It's called "Children's Hope International". It sounded really good, too. So, I looked it up on the internet at my parents, to discover that they had recently opened a Colorado office in Fort Collins! So, we went to an informational meeting about a week after I returned to Colorado. And, get this! The Colorado director knew Jay. Her kids are students of his at Liberty Common School. And, she, too, has adopted from China. This agency also sounds really good and is a Christian agency. So, now we're a little confused. Should we stick with the local agency that most of our other friends had been recommending or consider this new one? Please pray for wisdom!

Pardon Me?

Ever since telling people that we are planning on adopting we've had a flood of people pouring out their support. It's great to have so many asking about it and saying that they'll pray for us. However, there are also a few people who have asked us a question that I find myself wondering why they are asking us. I'm hoping that it's out of true compassion in their hearts for children who are in need of a home. But, sometimes I wonder if these people have really thought through the words that they say and how they come across. The question goes something like this. "Oh, you're planning to adopt from overseas, huh?! Well, have you ever considered adopting from the U.S?" (That's the polite version.) It gets rather tiring explaining all of the reasons why we are choosing to try to get a girl from China. Yes, we know that there are plenty of children in several other countries and the U.S. who also need a home, including plenty of boys. It's rather odd to me that we have to support and justify our decision. Do people ever ask someone who is having a baby the natural way, "Well, that's nice that you are going to have a baby, but why don't you adopt? You know, there are a lot of babies here in the U.S. who need a home." I doubt that many expectant parents hear that question. When I tried to explain to one woman that we don't like the fact that the law in the state of Colorado is such that the birth mother could change her mind within the first six months this woman actually had the tenacity to say, "Well, you just have to throw your emotions away." Her comments didn't seem to communicate compassion to me. Rather, they came across communicating, "Well, that's nice that you want to adopt a girl from China, but if you were a truly compassionate person, you'd forget your feelings and adopt a child from the U.S." Needless to say, this woman, herself, is not planning on adopting a child from the U.S. In fact, she's about 70 years old and already has her own children and grandchildren. It's easy for her to say that. I wonder if she's ever stopped to think about how insensitive her comments sounded. It reminds me that I, too, need to learn how to guard my tongue and think about my words before I say them. Why can't we simply rejoice with our friends when they make a big life decision, like to adopt a child? Why do we have to analzye and judge others intentions and motives? Is it because we all have some insecurities about ourselves and we feel better if we make ourselves out to sound more caring? If someone wants to ask me that question I would hope that they are, themselves, trying to be a part of the solution to the problem rather than blaming me for not doing more to fix it. The issue of children at home and abroad being without a family is a huge and overwhelming one. I may not be able to save all the children. But, we are hoping and praying to make the difference in the life of at least one kid. I hope others can celebrate with us in this endeavor!

Yes, indeedy, it IS Chinese!

Well, I was pleased to discover, today, the wonderful name I have chosen for our mystery dream child in the future is Chinese. The mom of one our kids at preschool looked it up in her Chinese dictionary. It has the same meaning. She said that the first character has been simplified some, but she could still find it and it did mean, "pledge, promise, covenant or contract". However, the pronunciaton is different than the Japanese. They pronounce it "chi". The second character is still written the same. And it also means "presence" and is even pronounced the same as in Japanese. She said she hasn't normally seen it used for names. But, she said because of the high population in China they are always looking for different, unique characters to be used for names. So, she thought I had picked a great name. Besides, she said that "chirin" sounds like a kind of mythical Chinese animal in ancient folklore somewhat similar to a dragon. So, it has a nice Chinese ring to it. Now, we just have to wait for a child to fit the name. I'm sure God has one in mind.

Getting to Know You...

One thing I forgot to mention in my last blog entry is that we actually have a couple of other reasons that we like the name "Kayleen". Some of you may know that my middle name is "Kaye". But we decided that it would be too many "e's" to spell Kayleen with an "e" after the "y". Also it would sound a little like Jay's sister's name, "Doreen". I asked the parent of one of our Chinese students at school if she could investigate whether or not those characters are still used in Chinese and if they have the same pronunciation as the Japanese ones. I'll let you know what I find out.

It's great that we have many Chinese students attending the school where I work. Also, one of the kids in the Pre-K class, which I help out with, was adopted from China. We also have friends through church and Jay's workplace who have adopted. So, we have lots of people to ask questions about the whole process. And just working with kids everyday is a great preparation for parenthood, I believe. I want to get to know and understand kids more and more. Not only will it help me be a better parent. I'm also hoping that it will enable me to be a better writer. For, you see, I am presently taking a writing course through the Institute of Children's Literature. The inspiration for this is my desire to write a story about my grandmother. But, that story could be another blog entry someday. Let's just say that I find my grandmother's life to be very inspiring. Where would we all be, today, if we didn't have our wonderful parents and grandparents? And there are so many kids in the world who are in need of a family. May we do our part to pass down a legacy of love and faith!

What's in a Name?

Although we probably won't hold our dream daughter for another couple of years, we've already been contemplating some names. One night, when I couldn't sleep I came up with a name I liked. The name is "Kayleen". Fortunately, when I shared it with Jay, he liked it, too. I once met a young woman named Kayleen. She belonged to a bible study group I attended in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. She was one of the brightest, kindest Christians I ever met. I can never forget her radiant smile. So, I have a very positive image of the name, Kayleen. Besides that, I thought of some Chinese characters that would work really well with the name. In Japan, if you spelled it out in Roman letters it would look like this: Keirin. But, it would have the same pronunciation. The Chinese characters would look like this 契臨. The first character is used in a Japanese Christian vocabulary word, 契約 (keiyaku), which means "covenant", as in God's covenant with His people. The second character is also used in a Japanese Christian vocabulary, 臨材 (rinzai). Now, my Japanese friends, please help me in case I got the character for "zai" wrong. But, anyway, the meaning is "God's presence". So, "Kayleen" or "Keirin" would mean "God's promise or pledge to be present." I thought this would be such an awesome meaning for our future daughter's name. We could remind her, through her name, that God is always with her. Besides that, the English meaning is also cool. It means "pure girl". We pray that someday we'll have a little Kayleen. She may not even be born, yet. But, God knows. We're trusting in His almighty plan!

"Get Ready to Ramble!"

I just hope that we can keep up this spirited cheer even after nights turned into days and endless days of wailing. But, yes, we, too, have succumbed to the enticing, but crazy, desire to adopt an adorable little daughter from China. Kind of strange for me, as I speak Japanese as my second language, instead of Chinese. But, ever since high school I've told myself that someday I would adopt from China. Now I've somehow talked my beloved husband into this hilarious adventure of sleepless nights and unimaginable joy. I have warned him, as I am the one working at a preschool, that children are very noisy and messy. But, he, too, has been duped into believing that it will all be worth the craziness involved. I can only dream of what silliness will invade the Regan household with the addition of a little, messy bundle of joy. Kids are SO incredibly funny! Take the comment of one of our little 4 yr. olds in Pre-K. And I quote, "My grandmother is very old. And her skin is big and sloppy." This is the same boy who announced to me at lunch today, "I'm falling in love with you, Ms. Chandra."

We will keep you posted with all of our silly notions of adopting our little bundle of joy, which will cost at least double or triple of what Ms. Chandra's car did. We must believe in a hilarious God to trust that this will come about. It is sure great knowing that, Yes!, He does have a sense of humor and INDEED!, He does own the cattle on a thousand hills. So, we'll see how He's planning on rounding up about 20.000 of those cattle, uh, I mean U.S. dollars, to make this Regan family expand.