Getting to the Angry Stage

Well, we heard in all of the adoption classes that it is normal for your child to get angry. Well, it seems we're finally starting to see it. And, yes, it is mainly being directed towards me as her mother. So, I guess that it's a good sign that some bonding is happening because she is feeling safe enough to begin to show her "ugly" side and express her anger. It's just not too much fun for my first day back to work to have my daughter growling at me in Thai that she hates me. But, I just smiled and said, "That's fine, but I love you." I feel like we are going through the bonding stages at warp speed. I've heard of others whose children were just numb in the beginning and then they got angry and finally they showed affection. It goes to show that every kid is different. Penny has actually been very happy, loving and affectionate most of the time. It's in the mornings when I tell her that she has to get up that she gets really mad at me. And then there was the time I told her she could not eat Doritos in her bedroom. So, hoping that her first day totally on her own at school is going well. So far no calls from school. So, no news is good news, right?!

Sorry so Slow!

I can't believe that it's been a whole week since I've posted. But, I feel like the new parent of an infant. It's like I never have a minute of time to myself, anymore. I'm just thankful that my teenage daughter WANTS to spend so much time with me. But, it has been quite different to get used to. So, although I never wanted to be one of those new parents that seems to drop off the face of the earth, I believe some of you are getting the impression that I am. But, let me tell you what we've been up to in the past week. There's been a lot of shopping, stocking up on as much Thai/Asian food as I can to satisfy our daughter's finicky taste in food. But, now she's actually starting to trust me when I tell her that these foods I'm buying her even are remotely similar to the things she has at home. She was really tickled when we found her favorite young coconut juice with pulp drink from Thailand available at Walmart. She's even been so bold as to begin to like Doritos. Otherwise, it's pretty much been rice, eggs and anything Thai that I can concoct.

The really good news that I have to report is that after quite a search and talking with various educators we've finally made a decision about her schooling. She started for the very first time on Thursday and I'm so happy to report that she loved her first two days of school. It wasn't without a struggle, stomach ache and some tears that morning. But, she went and by the time she got home she was all smiles and so eager to do her homework! We decided to put her in 6th grade. She has an excellent ELA (English Language Acquistion) teacher and her classroom teacher is also ESL certified. All of the teachers are GREAT! And there are so many kind, friendly and helpful kids in her class. Her first day she really enjoyed playing volleyball and everyone was telling her how good she was at it. A girl who was helping her with reading said she was doing great and they all were praising her on her artistic talent, too. So, she's gotten a real boost of confidence. And, all on her own, she has decided that she wants to learn the piano. She totally caught on to the first things I taught her and was playing them over and over already by the next day. She's also made friends with the neighbor boy across the street. We had some nice, warm weather this past week. So, we got in several games of croquet in the backyard. We'll see if I can get her talked into going with me to the Japanese church tomorrow. I know so many people are dying to meet her. But, we still need to take things slowly. It's easy for her to feel overwhelmed by so many new people giving her so much attention. But, it's been so neat to see her slowly coming out of her shell. And she's been showering us with more and more affection, too. That especially makes her daddy beam when she tells him that she loves him and wants to wait for him to get home before eating supper.

The highlight of the week for me was her first day of school. She wanted to pray that morning at the breakfast table. She thanked God for her mom and dad and sleep. At school when the writing teacher was asking her to describe what took place when Penny came to America, Penny wrote down the word, "God". I think even she recognized the amazing way in which God suddenly opened up the doors for us to come home. I'm so happy to see how He is revealing Himself to our girl. And we are feeling very blessed, indeed, that she is responding so well to our love. Not to say there aren't tough moments. She can suddenly become very moody and grumpy. It especially happens when Jay is away for a while. She really got ticked off at me the other day when I didn't allow her to eat Doritos in her bedroom.

Oh, the funny moment of the week. Penny didn't think it was so funny at the time, but now we can joke and laugh about it. We found her favorite brand of Thai ramen noodles at an Asian market here in Fort Collins. The brand name is "Mama". Well, I didn't remember what the brand name was and she said one day that she wanted to eat "Mama" for lunch. I grinned and said, "You can't eat Mama for lunch." Then she got very angry at me and stormed off to her room. Finally, it hit me as to what she was trying to say. So, I explained in Thai to her what I thought she meant. Ah, yes, there are still some communication gaps. But, it is amazing how much we can communicate. We've already created several silly little insider family jokes, especially from our time spent in Bangkok.

A very comforting moment was when she expressed to me this week that she felt relaxed in America and crazy while in Bangkok. That was the first positive thing I had heard her say at all about America. I think she really enjoyed when we drove her up to Horsetooth Lake on the western edge of Fort Collins, on the edge of the foothills of the mountains. It also helped that that day we ate at a Vietnamese noodle shop that was a real hit. The way to a teen's heart is through their stomach!

First Night to Sleep By Herself!

Our dear Penny went to bed last night at about 8 p.m. She was rather grumpy when we tucked her in. But, she's been out the whole night. Not a peep from her! It probably helped that we put the futon on the box spring as she wished. Mom, on the other hand, has been up since about 4:30 a.m. That's due to Mexican food causing gastric issues and her husband snoring due to a cold. Someday I'll be able to sleep through the night. Welcome to parenthood! Penny has been wanting to get her ears pierced. So, we might attempt that today. We'll see how it goes. Yesterday morning she was in a very good mood and made a delicious Thai style omelette to share with Mom. Seems that mornings are the best time of the day for her. She is VERY picky about any food at this stage. Hoping that with time and adjustment that she'll be a bit more daring to trying things. I'm guessing it'll take a few months to get there. Meanwhile, I'll need to be creative to figure out how to please all the members of our family.

What a Christmas/Birthday to Remember!

Well, folks, I'm so sorry that we can't post photos of Penny. It's an agreement that we signed with WACAP, as the DSDW does not want us posting any photos publicly on the internet of our child until she is finally, legally ours. Right now she is still considered under our foster care guardianship. But, I did discover, which I did not know before, that due to the Citizenship Act of 2000 every adopted child, even if the adoption is not yet finalized, is considered a U.S. Citizen as soon as they land of US soil. So, that happened for Penny on Saturday morning in Portland, OR. This morning she was feeling much better than last night. She had a total meltdown last night, sobbing that she wanted to go back home to Udon Thani. It's hard to be hit by jet lag, altitude sickness (she threw up at Walmart), homesickness, culture shock and teenage puberty all at once. At least I got her to sleep a little more last night by sleeping on a futon mattress next to her bed. That was the first night that she actually slept at all between 4 and 7 a.m. So, this morning she was back to her happy self saying that she did love Mom and Dad and now she only wants to return to Udon a little. But, as soon as we finished celebrating Jay's birthday and Christmas this afternoon she was wiped out and headed straight to bed. Glad she started her night's sleep at 4 p.m. instead of 11 a.m. like yesterday. She also got to go with Mom to Mom's preschool where she works. It was fun to introduce her to everyone. She was shyer than usual. But, then so were some of the kids who hadn't seen me for five weeks. I also heard from my boss today that she's needing to cut hours for her lower budget figures. So, that means that I'll be working four days a week instead of five. While we'll miss the money, it's probably a blessing in disguise. The good news is that I'll still have a job with benefits (for my benefits are better for a family than Jay's) and I'll have more time to adjust to being a new mom. Thanks to all of the many family members and friends out there who have definitely made this homecoming/Christmas/Jay's birthday one to remember! We are humbled by your generosity!

The Tears of Homesickness Flow

Good morning. It is 5:15AM and Penny now is able to see her first snow storm. It is snowing and blowing quite heartily. However, that isn't the storm in her heart this morning.

All of us have been trying to weather jet lag, but Penny and Chandra have had the worst of it. Penny hasn't slept most of the night and Chandra hasn't slept much either. We both noticed around 4 this morning some sounds coming from Penny's room. At first I thought she was singing to some music behind her closed door, but then I noticed it sounded more like crying. I knocked softly and slowly opened the door, noticing then that she was curled up sitting on the bed staring at pictures of her friends in Udon Thani and a letter someone had written her. We all cuddled on the bed while Penny had her first real crying time with us.

Up until now, she hadn't shown her emotions much, and maybe just a few small tears. I believe this is the first healthy release of some real crying. However, it certainly hurts my fatherly heart to see her crying. By using the electronic translator, we were able to understand that she said she loves mom and dad and wants to be adopted, however, she wants Udon Thani right now. We were able to explain to her that it is OK and normal to miss things. We also explained that when she starts school, she will make new friends, but that she doesn't need to forget her old friends.

Please pray for Penny to make some neat quality friendships soon, as she definitely has an extroverted heart that likes to make friends. We need to get her tested this week and in school soon. We need wisdom to make the correct choices for her. We will be calling the local junior high today to schedule a testing. The timing of the tears isn't too unexpected, as well, since she should be expecting only her second "time of the month" ever, this week. I hope that I can be a comfort to her this week and show some seeds of God's love for her.

Jay

P.S. These are some pictures from Udon Thani

Safely Back Home From Thailand!

Hi everyone!

We made it back home safely on Saturday afternoon after spending long flights on three different airplanes. As I write this on Saturday night, I will have been up now for almost 32 hours straight: I think I'll go to bed!

I will plan on officially going back to work on Tuesday, January 20th. We need some decompression time as a family and I would like to be available for a week to help Penny acclimate. Penny loves her new home, and especially her own bedroom. With jet lag, we may be out of it for a few days, but we look forward to sharing information about our travels. Thanks for all of your support!

Jay

P.S. We will be posting photos soon, but please note that due to contract agreements with WACAP and Thailand, we can't post actual photos of Penny until the process is finalized in the US. That could be more than 6 months. I wish we could, but we'll just have to be patient before we can post any online. Thanks for your understanding!

Have visa (almost)...Will Travel!

Yes, folks, we received our visa approval at our special meeting at 8 a.m. this morning. We even had to raise our right hands and solemnly swear that all the information that we provided was the truth. He even had Penny raise her hand. The guy was very friendly and had Penny laughing. He told us that we could come back today at 3 p.m. to pick up her passport with the visa stamped inside and an envelope to give to the Immigration officer in Portland. In case anyone is in Portland and would like to see us at the airport we'd be arriving there at 7:20 and leaves for Denver at 10:05 a.m. But, I guess with the way security is that the airports nowadays that might not be possible to meet. Well, we'll be arriving Portland on Saturday, the 10th on Northwest Airlines flight number 6 from Tokyo. This afternoon we must go back to get her visa. Then this evening we need to go to the tailor shop where we dropped off some silk material that we bought at the MBK market to be made into a traditional Thai dress. We had her fitting yesterday and she smiled like a very happy Thai princess when she tried it on. She looks pretty in pink! Today we had another bonding experience as she had a near meltdown at the Embassy when she discovered some splinters in her foot and Mom got to wash her foot and dig them out with a needle at the hotel. Another trust-building exercise. She seems very happy today. It was fun skipping and singing songs with her as we headed to the Embassy this morning. It was priceless to see the looks on the faces of several men riding in the back of a pickup truck just staring at this "farang" (foreign) woman and Thai girl holding hands, singing and skipping down the sidewalk. Penny looked a bit frightened when we walked out of the Embassy without the passport in our hands. So, when we explained in Thai that we would come back to get it at 3 p.m. she smiled real big and said, "Yes!"

Another Miracle!

Well, friends, we can't believe how our situation turned around in just the span of a few hours today. When we checked our e-mail this morning we were told that the earliest we'd be able to hear anything about our case would be next week. After finishing up our e-mailing we went to a grocery store to buy some food and the cell phone finally rang! They said, "There's been an investigation in your case and we are now ready to move forward. Can you be at our office before 4 p.m.?" That was at 2:30 p.m. So, we quickly bought our snacks and walked back to our hotel, grabbed all of our documents and hopped onto the sky train. Then we walked briskly in the 90 degree heat to the Sindhorn Building and proceeded to the 15th floor. Very interesting that the woman who was supposed to be in charge of our entire case was no where to be found. Another woman briefly questioned us. We had to laugh at one of the questions that she tried asking Penny. "Are you unmarried?" Ha! She even grinned a little when she asked it as she realized that Penny was clueless as to what she was asking her. Then she told us that the Embassy was already closed and that they normally do visa interviews in the afternoon. However, she said that maybe we'd be able to go in early. So, we were to wait for a call from them on Friday to see if we could get in earlier. But, just as we were about ready to leave the USCIS office a woman at the front desk said, "Wait a minute! I'll call over to the Embassy to see if they'll let you come over now." She called and just like that they told us to cross the street and tell the guards that we have a special meeting with the Immigration Visa Department. Jay skipped on the way out as we rushed across the street. The guards did not look as happy as we did when we tried to communicate with them. They had no idea what we were saying. So, they called in to the Embassy to ask about us. Then they gave us the phone so the woman inside could verify who we were. Then they took the phone back and she told them in Thai that it was okay to let us in. When Jay went through the metal detector his metal pen in his pocket set it off. So, he got to be wanded. But, we finally made it inside where we waited for a while as there was no one at the counter. But, finally a woman came out and asked for various documents. Jay was practically shaking as he was searching for all of the documents. Fortunately, he had what she was asking for. HINT: Always bring along plenty of extra copies (at least 5 of everything) and the originals as well as passport pictures along. Then she kept Penny's passport and handed us a letter. She told us to show it to the guards tomorrow morning as she was giving us a special meeting at 8 a.m. on Friday morning. That means we should be able to get Penny's visa by tomorrow morning. Yes, it looks like we will be flying out early Saturday morning, after all! It must have been all of the inquiring on the part of Senator John Thune's secretary that sped them up. For, the woman at CIS said, "So, will you be going back home to South Dakota?" "No," we smiled. "The grandparents live in South Dakota." So, we will be home in time for Jay's birthday. I bet he's never celebrated his birthday so close to celebrating Christmas and New Year's. But, this year he's gotten the best gift of all, a daughter who actually starting to show her affection for him even before she leaves her own turf.

What Goes Up Must Come Down

Ah, I hate these darned emotions that waver like a roller coaster ride. Yesterday was such an up day. This morning the gloomies hit both Jay and I and we both started crying. Penny had a few tears escape when she realized that we were crying. But, after that she was the strong one. And she was so precious...At the breakfast table, while she was freezing cold from the air conditioning she noticed that Daddy was sweating profusely and she got up to take a napkin and wipe his face for him. She is definitely our little ray of sunshine in this cloudy storm. We have actually started using some of her savings money that we were entrusted with from the orphanage with the plan to give it back to her later in the States. We just had no idea we would be stuck here so long. The place we are staying at is okay, but not in the best condition. But, we're thankful for a roof over our heads. Just don't think we'll be able to eat eggs again for breakfast for a long time (as that's our only option everyday here). Still no news. We heard back from the Senator's office who is looking into our case that the USCIS says they are still verifying documents and probably will finish at the earliest by next week (when our visas are set to expire). Wow! What a test! Hope Jay won't need to spend his birthday next week in Cambodia. But we'll do whatever it takes to bring this treasure home.

Thanks for the Encouragement

We REALLY appreciate all of the kind words, thoughts, and prayers from so many people! You lift our spirits when we are down. Today we just chose to not get down even though, once again there was not a word from USCIS. We called the head of the Asian section for WACAP, Mary Moo. She said that they are recently noticing this slowdown with the USCIS in Bangkok and they are sure what to make of it. But, she's hoping that with the reality of our visas expiring on the 14th that we just might get our interviews at the last minute. Meanwhile, we've decided that if nothing happens by the 14th we will try to cross the border at Cambodia to get new visas for Thailand. That would certainly not be our first choice. But, we would do anything for our daughter. We are becoming more and more bonded as a family. Today was absolutely the best day, ever! It must have been all of those prayers. It was incredibly miraculous. We were able to completely communicate with her (via our electronic translator) all about our long wait and tenuous situation. She completely understood and was so sweet to say that she's not going to worry about it and she'll be happy to go with us to Cambodia if we need to. The money is a little tight, but we found a fairly inexpensive guest house to stay at since we had to leave the Bangkok Christian Guest House. And it's right around the corner from a very nice internet cafe.

Can't describe in words what an incredible day it was as a family. We were literally laughing, singing and dancing for hours in our hotel room in spite of the unexplainable wait. How blessed we are! And we do sense that Penny is beginning to understand a little more about our love for Jesus. She loves to hold hands to pray before each meal. She is usually the first one to reach out to grab our hands. What a gift!

Still No News

I posted last in the morning. Now it's Tuesday night. The person that we met whom I thought was going to be one of Penny's nannies actually turned out to be one of her former elder "sisters" from the orphanage who is now studying at a university. She has been fortunate to find a very kind person, a former boss of hers, who really cares about her and wants her to succeed so he has promised to continue sending her monthly support so that she can stay in school. I guess if the kids do well enough with their grades some of them can go on to get grants to go to higher education. But, they have to somehow pay for all of their living expenses on their own. We are thankful to give Penny an opportunity to study in the U.S. But, presently it's really hard to stay positive when we have to continue paying for everything here in Thailand and our bills back home while being away from work with no pay. It's quite scary. It's hard to keep the faith that God is listening to our prayers right now. I tried calling our CIS officer. She didn't call back, but e-mailed back saying it's a complicated process and she can't give us any idea of when she'll be finished with our case. So, we are left wondering if we need to change our tickets again and somehow figure out what to do about our visas soon expiring. It's hard for Penny as she sees tons of toys she'd love in department stores here and we keep telling her,
"Well, you have many of those kind of stuffed animals waiting for you at home."

Getting Nervous

Well, here it is Tuesday and we still haven't heard anything from the USCIS. This will be a short post as I need to go get my suitcases as we're moving to another hotel again. Our present guest house had some large groups scheduled to come in here and have been letting the present guests (including us) know that they're full and we can no longer stay here. So, we found another guest house that isn't far from the government offices. We also are planning to meet with that nanny of Penny's. For some reason we were unable to get a hold of her on Sunday when she initially said she wanted to meet. So, we told her as long we didn't get our long-awaited phone call we could meet with her at a department store (like a giant upscale mall in the States) near our new hotel. Thanks for all the well-wishes and prayers. Really hoping that we can leave soon! Love you all!

Getting through the Weekend

Haven't been able to blog as much as the internet cafes have been closed down more due to New Year's. There is a lot of things closed down and Bangkok seems quieter. Can't say that I miss the noise and crowds. We have been finding things to do to keep us busy. On the 31 we mostly went swimming. On the 1st we took that boat ride to a Japanese person's high rise apartment. On the 2nd we took a tour to the Rose Garden where we took in an elephant show and culture show. The drive in the tour van was quite an experience. The driver must have been doing 90 mph and was weaving in and out of traffic on the highway as if we were in the Indy 500. Of course, there were no seatbelts for any of the passengers. Just prayed that we'd make it back in one piece and that no one would get car sick. Yesterday, the 3rd, we went to a shopping plaza, called the MBK Market, where I bought silk material to make Penny a traditional outfit. Afterwards, I discovered that I need to actually take the material to a tailor to have it made into an outfit. Here I thought it was already made. Ah, another frustration of not understanding Thai. But, I've picked up several new Thai words and Penny is learning more English. After the Market, we went to the house of Jim Thompson, which has been made into a museum. A very beautiful, peaceful place, but not a place for small children as there are several items centuries old sitting out in the open that could be destroyed by little hands. Then we walked along a canal to a huge shopping department store complex, called the Siam Paragon. They have a large toy store and children's play area on the 4th floor. Penny was very excited that we bought a Disney Princess version of Uno. We came home and played it for hours. She picked it up very quickly! She's a very sharp girl. Not at all developmentally delayed as we were told she might be. Today we went to an English-speaking church. Penny enjoyed the music and read a Thai comic version of the New Testament. We might be able to meet with one of her nannies from the orphanage today, as she is in Bangkok visiting her university friends. Tomorrow is a full business day as usual at the USCIS office so we're really hoping that they'll get to work on our case and hear something soon that we can go in to get our interview. Thanks for all of your prayers!

Prayers of the Righteous

It's good to know that God does listen to prayer. At times we begin to wonder as things have not been answered as we had hoped. But, we're trusting that He's still listening and has a plan. We were very touched that some other brothers and sisters in Christ from Japan prayed for and with us this afternoon. We met in the home of a Japanese woman who lives on the 29th floor of a condo building right on the Pra Chayo River. I think I'm spelling that wrong but I don't remember offhand the correct spelling. What a view it was from the top of her condo building at 32 stories high! It was fun riding on the boat and it was a little cooler. Penny tried swimming for the second time yesterday. That was a good lesson in trust. She is doing quite well. But, sometimes in the morning she starts yelling and moaning like she is afraid of something. At least she's not kicking me in bed or falling out of her bed any more. And we've almost conquered the last of the lice nits. Poor kids have to live with that in the orphanage. Thanks to Terri Firpo for informing me of how to get rid of them. Tomorrow we're planning to take a tour of the Rose Garden and take in a cultural show. Not sure what we'll do on Saturday. I heard there's supposed to be a big market at the end of the Sky Train, so might check it out. Thankfully, it was a little cooler today as it was cloudy. Only lower 80's instead of upper 80's to lower 90's. To think that this is the cool season for Bangkok! At least Udon Thani was a little cooler. However, it was very smoky in the air there as they were burning the rice fields. I never imagined the air would be better in Bangkok. Well, we are doing fine. Just praying that we will get our paperwork all taken care of next week. We are now planning to return on the 10th. Thanks for all of your prayers!