Nine Months Today Since We Came Home

This nine months has flown by compared with what nine months of waiting to adopt was like. That would be a normal gestation period for biological children. But, in our case, we waited two years to get our daughter. Now I have empathy for all of you who are waiting. It's very hard. And then the first few months of adjustment are also hard. But, I must say that we're coming to a new level of bonding now with our lovely daughter. I'd say we really started turning a corner at about the 7 month stretch. Last night it was so special when she chose to come over and put her head on my lap while she finished her first real novel, "Charlotte's Web". She has learned so much in these nine months. She has learned how to tell time and about American money. She has learned how to speak English and to play the violin. She has come to believe in Jesus as her Savior and was baptized this past Sunday, Oct. 4th. She's also been learning more appropriate social skills. I think this was has been the hardest one to learn. She had learned many negative ways of dealing with people. Namely, there was a lot of anger and fighting at the Girls' Home. I guess it wasn't any wonder as the girls had experienced the pain of many losses besides being treated like they were at Boot Camp. She tells me they had to get up around 4 a.m. and be running around the building, doing exercises at 5 a.m. followed by helping in the kitchen before they ate breakfast and went to school. Since coming to America she thought that this was her chance at freedom and to escape from chores. So, she blew up in the beginning when I'd ask her to do simple tasks. That's when we started the "Rewards & Responsibility Chart". She's now coming to understand that I'm giving her the choice to earn allowance for as many or as few chores that she chooses to do. It's made life much easier. And yesterday, all on her own, she told me that she wanted to go outside and help me rake leaves.

All the things they tell you in those adoption classes; about how your child will need to go through the early childhood developmental stages in order to bond with you as their new parents, it's true. But, don't let it scare you. We're finding that with patience, love, truth and time the attachment does develop. I think our main job as parents is to try to appear to remain calm at all times and don't overreact even when your child does. If you can hang in there and be willing to deal with the stresses involved you'll come out with a new happily bonded family that you've dreamed of having. We're finding that to be true for us. It's amazing to see what God can do in just nine month's time. We recently took our family photo at JCPenney (our favorite store since it just happens to include mine and Jay's initials and Penny's name). We found a frame for one of the photos with this saying on it...

Our Family
Sharing good times, bearing hard times, trusting in God, laughing and living,
trusting, forgiving, together in love,
side by side, day by day.


I'll leave you with some family photos and pictures from Penny's baptism.