A Week of Hurt, Healing and Hope

I'm so thankful for the book on parenting I've been reading. It's helping me to understand more of what my daughter is going through. This past week was tough. Her feelings went down really low after she tried calling friends/nannies from the orphanage and no one had time to talk with her. I'm guessing that out of that experience of feeling rejected, it triggered all of her fears. And once again, I had to remind myself that we've only been a family for a little over a year. She still struggles with doubts about our love and God's. But, as one friend told me, "Although it's hard to hear your daughter expressing her doubts that she can trust you, at least she trusts you enough to be able to tell you that honestly." It's true. And the book says to expect your child to act their family age instead of their chronological age, especially when they are stressed. So that means we are now entering the "terrible two's" at the same time that we're dealing with teenage hormones. We've all still got so much to learn. But, although it was sad to see Penny cowering this morning and almost crying, telling me that in her dream we had taken her back after one year, at least I was equipped to know what to say. The book says to keep retelling their story and acknowledge what was hard for them in the past. This will show them how much you care and are trying to understand. So, I told her I knew that it was very painful when her Thai foster parents chose not to adopt her, but took her back to the orphanage after a little over a year. And then I reassured her that we certainly have adopted her. And we are promising that she will always be our daughter. Sometimes it's hard for a child to think that the same bad thing that happened in the past won't reoccur. It was so special to see her face light up and hear her singing the rest of the morning as she got ready for school. So, yes, there IS HOPE! Allelujah! The poor girl has been through so much in just a year's time. And she's had to face her painful past so many times, already. In this past semester, alone, she's had assignments in which she has had to write her life biography, about her birth parents for the study of genetics, and now she's supposed to create a family tree. And last semester there was the sex education class in which I'm sure she was thinking a lot about her birth parents. These are very traumatic for a young teen who has been adopted. But, poor Penny is going through it all at once when she had just begun learning English. So, I'm amazed at just how resilient she is. They told us when we first met her that there was something really special about her. We must agree. She has a lot of spunk and capacity to care. We just have to hang in there when the emotions take over and then be there to speak reality into her life. Your prayers and words of encouragement are also a great source of strength. Thanks!