The Waves of Change along with Growing Pains

I've been trying to help prepare my daughter for the BIG change coming up...High school! She's already scared about it. I think transitions are hard for all teens, but even more so for teens who have just went through a HUGE life-changing transition of giving up their own culture, language, friends, etc. to get used to what it is to be a part of a family in an entirely new world. When you add in the teenage hormones it can sometimes make for some tumultuous emotions. So, I'm trying to help our daughter to learn to recognize the signs of when it may be her fluctuating feelings that are making her to react in negative ways. I think she's gradually learning to notice these things. But, little things can suddenly set her off, like when a teacher threatened her with a detention for forgetting to turn in a paper for two days in a row. Something like that can be CRUSHING for Penny. It can send her spiraling downward and then it calls for extra sleep and lots of probing with questions from Mom to help her figure out just how much that is affecting her. Of course, she doesn't want to admit it, but I can see it quite obviously. I guess my motherly concern hasn't gone unnoticed by her, either. For yesterday, she wrote a paragraph for a contest at Chick-Fil-A about why her mom is the greatest in the world. I tried not to notice what she was writing, but I couldn't help but peek enough to see that she thinks that what is special about her mom is that she also is there for her and trying to make sure she is okay when she's having a hard time. I was touched that she wrote that she feels like I'm her real mom even though I am not.

You know, the one who I hear speak of a "real mother" the most is my daughter. So, naturally, we have conversations about that. And I make sure to not take it personally, but to listen to what she means by that when she talks about her "real mother". And I think she is also listening to me when I remind her that giving birth, alone, is not all that a mother does. Yesterday I was careful to acknowledge what she had to say about why she wanted to straighten her hair, because it helped her to remember her foster mother (whom she hasn't seen since she was about 5 years old and was only a part of her life for one and a half years). She was obviously an important person in her life and I'm amazed how she remember details from those times even though she was only four years old when they returned her to the orphanage.

The high point of the week was when Penny was awarded a 1st place prize for the "Proud to Be Bilingual" contest through our school district. This was her second year in a row to be nominated for an award. Last year her illustrated children's book won a 2nd place prize. She acted like she wasn't too enthused about the project this year but since winning the prize she's already been talking about what kind of project she would like to work on for next year. Another highlight this week was that she got a first place for her violin contest that was held this past Saturday. But, after the highs, I can usually be assured that the lows will follow. So, too, there were tears and anger at Mom for pressuring her about something and then tears in the night over very painful growing pains in her legs. That, after being worn out, because she wanted to go out and collect applications to try to apply for a summer job. The poor girl is going through all kinds of growing pains. But, I'm entrusting her to Jesus, the author and perfecter of her faith! These precious children are a gift for a while. But, they truly belong to their loving Heavenly Father who has known them even before they were born. I think that message of being an adopted child in the family of God is what really seems to give Penny hope. She certainly knows that I love her, but that I am an imperfect human being. The more she can grasp of God's love, the more she can grow in assurance of His constant care. He helps impart a peace that her earthly parents cannot entirely supply. So, when people try to give us credit for good parenting I quickly turn the attention to where the credit really goes. I am limited, but God is not. He is the one who is truly transforming this beautiful young woman right before our eyes. He has simply called us to be a part of His plan if helping her to grow up to be all that He meant her to be.